TOXIC SHAME and GUILT in ADDICTION RECOVERY (Shame Spirals and Mental Health)

Sober is Dope!

At some point in life, all of us experience the uncomfortable feeling of shame. Shame is often unspoken of and unrecognized, and it is one of the most unpleasant and tormenting emotions humans experience (Powell, 2016). As humans, we tend to go to extreme lengths to avoid this nauseating emotion which has the power to shut us down. Projecting our shame onto others, lying and isolating ourselves are few of the things we do in order to diminish this feeling. ( https://popbuchanan.net/soberisdope ) Many may confuse shame with guilt. Guilt is the feeling one gets when doing something bad. Shame is related to the thoughts, feelings, behaviours and beliefs accumulated throughout our lives, which as a result develop the core belief that one is unworthy of love and belonging (Sack, 2015). How to deal with Guilt These 9 tips can help lighten your load. 1. Name your guilt. ... 2. Explore the source. ... 3. Apologize and make amends. ... 4. Learn from the past. ... 5. Practice gratitude. ... 6. Replace negative self-talk with self-compassion. ... 7. Remember guilt can work for you. ... 8. Forgive yourself. Forgiveness Making peace and moving forward is often easier said than done. Being able to forgive yourself requires empathy, compassion, kindness, and understanding. It also requires you to accept that forgiveness is a choice. Whether you’re trying to work through a minor mistake or one that impacts all areas of your life, the steps you need to take in order to forgive yourself will look and feel the same. How to Forgive Yourself 1. Focus on your emotions. ... 2. Acknowledge the mistake out loud. ... 3. Think of each mistake as a learning experience. ... 4. Give yourself permission to put this process on hold. ... 5. Have a conversation with your inner critic. ... 6. Notice when you are being self-critical. ... 7. Quiet the negative messages of your inner critic. 8.) Get clear about what you want If the mistake you made hurt another person, you need to determine the best course of action. Do you want to talk to this person and apologize? Is it important to reconcile with them and make amends? The Dalai Lama and others contemplate self-forgiveness. ( https://youtu.be/HSCTvE-bv3c ) Dr. Brené Brown: "Shame Is Lethal" | SuperSoul Sunday | Oprah Winfrey Network ( https://youtu.be/GEBjNv5M784 ) Shame and vulnerability researcher Dr. Brené Brown says shame is the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. It's the most primitive human emotion we all feel—and the one no one wants to talk about. If left to its own devices, Dr. Brown says, shame can destroy lives. Watch as she reveals the three things shame requires to grow—and the one thing that can stop shame in its tracks. For more on #supersoulsunday, visit ( WatchOWN.tv/SSS Brené Brown: 3 Things You Can Do to Stop a Shame Spiral | Oprah's Lifeclass | Oprah Winfrey Network https://youtu.be/TdtabNt4S7E If you're caught in a shame spiral, Brené Brown says there are three things you can start doing today to break the cycle: Talk to yourself like you talk to someone you love; reach out to someone you trust; and tell your story. Watch as Brené shares the number one antidote to shame. For more on #lifeclass, visit http://bit.ly/1nPCfuF Shame verses Guilt - Brene' Brown https://youtu.be/DqGFrId-IQg Shame is an unspoken epidemic, the secret behind many forms of broken behavior. Brené Brown, whose earlier talk on vulnerability became a viral hit, explores what can happen when people confront their shame head-on. Her own humor, humanity and vulnerability shine through every word. The bottom line Toxic shame often cuts deep, but self-compassion and self-love can be helpful tools for smoothing away the scars it leaves behind. Confronting shame might feel impossible, but you don’t have to do it alone. When you feel ready to heal (and there’s no time like the present), a therapist can help you take the first steps. ( https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-forgive-yourself )