44: EVERY CHILD IS UNIQUE (PART 2) – CHILD'S MIND

SHE'S CONFIDENT WITH DEON TEH

TRANSCRIPT FOR EP 44

Welcome to SHE is Confident. Hi! This is Deon Teh and in this episode, I will be sharing with you about Every Child is unique (part 2)–CHILD’S MIND

As mentioned in Part 1,

As parents, right from the day, our children are born, we are constantly learning how to be responsible parents. We love our children and they are like an extension of ourselves and also become leaders of the next generation.

How can we raise them in the best way to allow them to be who they are and how we can best guide them so that they can live to be themselves.

In a child’s learning journey, it doesn’t mean that they have to get high marks in their academics so that they are considered good or smart. It really depends on what their personalities are.

In my previous episode where I talked about Enneagram, everyone has different types of personality. Each child has their strength and weakness and we can use this as a guide on how to balance their personal elements.

They are individuals that need our guidance rather than setting the path for them.

What we want to arrange or set up for them, could be from our inner fears towards the world, our desires that we want to fulfill or we do not want to lose face.

Instead, we should help them to be more focused so they can find out what they want to be, just like how we as adults, change to what we want to be frequently. It is okay when they make changes according to what they set their mind to at the moment and they need to accumulate more life experiences on their own.

Just like many parents nowadays, I was overly concerned about my son as a new parent. This causes me to have my mood swings and it changes according to his behavior. I have too many inner fears about his relationship to this world and his future.

My son is the only child in our family, when he goes to his nanny house, he is also much loved by his nanny and her family. And so since young, he is well protected and is rather self-centered which I believe will not help him in his personal development.

We have many disagreements in our daily life. For example, we want him to study hard so that he can further his studies at university just like his cousin.

However, he is just a child and due to his character, he still is unsure of what he wants to do in the future yet.

Therefore we need to think of a way to let him understand what life all about is and guide him to understand what exactly is his life journey, what can he do to further his interest or to pursue what he able in his life.

I realized that I can have a better way to communicate with my son instead of scolding him, this will turn him away. We need him to understand the reasons behind our worries, and this takes time.

There is not magic, the child will keep on making the same mistake or behaviour over and over again,

Therefore as parents, we need to have patience and have the wisdom to guide and accompany him and accept the mistakes and face his difficulties together.

This will be the biggest support that he receives and it will make him be a stronger person.

I have also learnt to understand what he is thinking and thinking from his point of view. I have introduced him to mindfulness as well as to finding his inner heart by himself and guiding him on how to balance his mind and body and not push himself to the limits.

My husband and I don’t share the same teaching method for our child. However, if we were to quarrel about this, this will let the child feel unsafe as he does still not understand our adult world.

Be Frank to ourselves about what happened and each time we learnt from past mistakes and reflect on how to handle it better.

We learned how not to fear and give time to understand and be more aware of each other’s feelings.

Nowadays children’s mindsets are totally different from our generation, and the world concept is also different. They get to connect easily to the world and are easily affected either in positive or in negative ways.

By understanding them, letting go, or reviewing our past experiences because there is no perfect method to apply to all children as all are different and unique.

Allow them to be themselves.

We may be successful in our careers, but this doesn't mean that our relationship with our child will be good. We must not neglect and must make an effort in order to have a great relationship with them.

By accompanying them, letting them see your hard work in your work area, having an optimistic outlook in life, your unconditionally love for them, all these will form his bright side of the mind.

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If you want to talk about transforming your inner child, healing your relationships with yourself and money, connect with me through my Facebook and the link is in the show notes.

End

I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you about Every Child is unique (part 3)–HAPPY CHILD

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