BONUS: Q&A with Rob & Tami - Can Betrayed Spouses be Addicts Too?

Sex, Love, and Addiction

Rob and Tami talk about codependency and why the term actually shames betrayed partners, not supports them. They also dive into some of the misconceptions people have about the partners of addicts. In this week’s episode, they share how you can find a therapist that understands you and what you’re going through, and doesn’t shame you.

TAKEAWAYS:

[0:25] Is it a good sign my addict is apologizing or is this a manipulation tactic?

[2:15] Dr. Rob, are you offering partner meetings?

[3:50] Can codependency delay the addict’s recovery?

[8:00] Your partner stays with you because they love you! Not because they love your addictions!

[9:10] I can’t find a CSAT in my area. What should I do?

[12:50] My therapist told me I am addicted to my sex-addicted partner. Can betrayed spouses be addicts too?

[17:35] What have been some of the biggest changes Dr. Rob sees from the people leaving his treatment center?

[21:25] When addicts go through treatment and realize the damage they’ve caused, they become afraid that their spouses will leave them.

[24:45] I am struggling to understand addiction. Why do people do it?

[29:30] Do addicts have moments of clarity?

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: [e-mail]

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating Book by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Book by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction by Robert Weiss

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating Book by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control Book by Robert Weiss

QUOTES

• “The partner that’s just been trying to hold things together is just being blamed (for being codependent).”
• “The word codependency has brought a world of harm onto women for many, many years. It mirrors our history of shaming caregivers.”
• “There’s a lot of negativity assigned to the spouse for being in this situation with your partner, who is addicted. We love who we love and we stick by who we stick by.”
• “One of our jobs is that nobody goes out there and does it again without understanding how it’s going to affect the people they love and themselves.”