Ep 113: Sustaining Happiness in Long-term Relationships, with Andreia Scotto

Running Wild with Christine

Hi everyone! Welcome back to Andreia from episode 105! She is a Marriage and Family Therapist, based in Denver, Colorado. Today, she wanted to discuss one of the most prevalent topics that she's heard this past year: "My partner doesn't make me happy anymore." We delve into codependency in long-term committed relationships and establish some common hurdles and resources. It was so refreshing and helpful to hear Andreia talk about her personal experiences, alongside mine, as well as the theoretical frameworks that guide her practice. Listen in, even if you're not in a relationship, as there are some crucial self-worth nuggets of wisdom in here.

Topics: therapy as a "last resort", the effects of isolation on relationships, autonomy vs connection, communication, defining individual happiness, family patterns, distinguishing and making room for someone else's feelings, codependency, where you draw self-worth from, boundaries, evaluating the myth of "marriage is boring", establishing your relationship's TOS, being lost in translation, what does "better sex" mean, self-exploration, the biggest enemy of excitement, the three S's that can help you: Self-Awareness, Self-Soothing and Sharing.

Reference: Family Systems Theory: "Differentiation of Self" (Kerr & Bowen, 1988), Esther Perel's Mating in Captivity at estherperel.com.

For more on Andie, go visit her IG @andies.therapy.couch! Thanks for listening.

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