133. HeartShare: Breaking The Illusions of Love: The Real Work of Love

Relationships Let's Talk About It!

Two people meet under some random circumstance, fall in love, experience some disconnection along the way and question their feelings. Realizing they really love each other, the wedding bells toll. Such is the usual plot of a romantic film. By the time the credits roll and the theater lights up, we already have this assumption that they spend the rest of their lives together in blissful matrimony. While we can’t deny that love and romance are beautiful things, these films fail to show the real work involved in maintaining long-term, healthy relationships.

Today, I discuss how we create relationship illusions - and how we can recognize and dissipate these illusions so we can appreciate our partners for who they truly are. I share a recent blunder I made in my relationship with my wife and underscore the importance of reacting not as children but as adults. I explain how expecting our partners to be perfect can damage our relationship with them as well as why growth involves knowing what’s happening within us. I also discuss ways we can exercise our relational skills and highlight our roles as teachers (and students) of love in a relationship.

“Loving relationships are beautiful, but we need to understand reality and welcome it so that we can turn every moment into something intimate, transparent, and authentic.” - Pripo Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:

• The mundaneness, challenges, and joys of long-term relationships
• How we unconsciously love the way we loved as children
• The humility involved in the work of love
• How anger can erode sexual desire and the quality of relationships
• Dispelling the illusion of perfection in our partners and ourselves
• What real love is and the importance of compassion and empathy in relationships
• How the shadow aspects of relationships can be an ally
• Why love is more effective at bringing people together than keeping them together
• Getting to know your love map and how to hone our relationship and relating skills
• The difficulty of changing the type of people we are attracted to
• Changing our response to the imperfection of life and people
• How to become a better teacher of kindness, generosity, and empathy in your relationship

Related Content:

• What Makes a Relationship Worth Doing the Hard Work
• Falling in Love
• Difficult Conversations

Let’s Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Relationships! Let’s Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo’s Podcast Songs.

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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk