Difficult Conversations & How to Be an Ally to Our Black Friends - Ep. 41

Milspouse Matters

Difficult Conversations—Are you having them?

Today’s episode is a bit shorter and different than originally intended. In light of what’s been going on in our country the past couple of weeks, I just couldn't continue with it as if things were normal.

With the killing of George Floyd on May 25 at the hands of a police officer while other police looked on, and the resulting protests and riots, the topics of racism and race relations are at the forefront of everyone’s mind and all over social media and in our daily conversations. What happened was evil. There’s no way around it.

I’ve wondered what to say, if I’ll say it wrong, and how to even approach this. So please bear with me. I’ve been talking to some of my black friends both in real life and online, and decided I wanted to address this on the podcast, but please know that I am treading lightly and if I make a misstep or say something not quite the right way, it is on me.

A lot of us are having some difficult conversations we’ve never had before. It’s easier sometimes to just leave it alone, to not talk about such hard things. Racism. Injustice. Maybe our own part in it.

To my black friends….I see you. I hear you. I am sorry if I have failed you in the past. But it is not your responsibility to deal with my guilt or make me feel better about this.

So on this episode, I want to talk to those of you who are trying to become good allies to our black friends, family members, and the greater community. I am here and I am trying. But it is not up to our black friends to hold our hands, educate us, or make us feel better. They’re exhausted. They’re tired. They’re tired of fighting.

It’s ok to be learning. It’s ok to change your mind about something you may have always believed and now realize you had it wrong. It’s ok to realize maybe you haven’t done things well in the past and try to do better. We have to do better.

On this episode, I’m going to share some advice I’ve been given over the past few days, then point you to some resources if you’re looking to learn more, grow more, and help your kids as they grow up.

Posting on social media is valid, expressing your support online is valid, talking is valid, but where do we go from here? We can’t stop fighting racism because it stops trending.

I hope you’ll listen, join the discussion, and find some resources and practical ways you can help.

See the full show notes and resources mentioned here.