Sex Gap 공개
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Mismatched libidos destroying your relationship? Dr. Laura Jurgens helps couples solve desire differences with proven methods—even when therapy fails. This intimacy coach and former professor helps couples navigate different sexual needs with research-based solutions that actually work. This isn't about forcing different sex drives to align. It's about understanding why you want different amounts of sex, learning to talk about it without fighting, and creating intimacy that works for both pa ...
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You know your desire discrepancy is a problem. You've known for months, maybe years. So why haven't you done anything about it? It's not laziness or lack of care—it's your brain doing exactly what evolution designed it to do. Here's how to override it. This episode helps you understand the neuroscience of "the comfortable pain trap," the real cost …
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If you have ADHD and your sex life feels challenging, you're not broken - your brain just works differently. Maybe you have super high libido and use sex or masturbation to feel at home in your body. Or maybe your libido is low because sex hasn't been working for your body or you're stuck in your head and you don't know why or how to fix it. Or may…
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You know you need to talk about your desire gap, but every time you try, it devolves into a fight. Someone gets defensive or spirals into shame, and you're right back where you started – or worse. In this episode, you get the exact framework for having the conversation that actually works to get you started on the road to solving your issues togeth…
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You're both in pain about your desire gap, but you're processing it separately – venting to friends, talking to therapists, building separate narratives about what's wrong. Meanwhile, the gap between you keeps widening. Sound familiar? Most couples approach mismatched libidos like adversaries: one person wants more sex, one wants less, and now you'…
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Why does your body shut down during intimacy even when your mind wants connection? Why does rejection trigger panic that feels way bigger than the situation? The answer might have nothing to do with your current relationship—and everything to do with attachment wounds living in your nervous system. In this episode, Laura talks with Dr. Aline LaPier…
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Why does penetration feel painful, numb, or just... meh? And why does rushing to it kill desire over time? If you're experiencing pain or numbness during sex, struggling with low libido, or wondering why your partner seems less and less interested, this episode is for you. It reveals one of the most common desire killers: penetration before the bod…
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Tired of the cycle where you don't get sex, so you sulk, which makes your partner want sex even less? You're not alone – and you're definitely not getting the results you want. In this episode, we break down why pouting, withdrawal, and passive aggression after sexual rejection literally kills desire and pushes your partner further away. If you're …
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This episode is all about why I'm making a change in this podcast, including why that is going to be extra great for you as a listener. In fact, you're going to get even more of my focused expertise, aimed at the issue that affects 80% of people in relationships at some point: libido mismatch. I'm keeping all the no-nonsense, research-based, caring…
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Your body remembers every touch, every rejection, every moment of connection—even when your mind has forgotten. But most of us are living from the neck up, disconnected from our bodies and the wisdom they hold about our desires, boundaries, and authentic selves. In this episode, I'm demystifying embodiment and somatic (body-based) approaches for in…
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Many people worry that fantasizing during intimacy means something is wrong with their relationship or attraction to their partner. In this episode, we explore why mental wandering during sex is completely normal and can actually enhance your experience. Learn the difference between healthy fantasy that keeps you present and embodied… versus proble…
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Are casual-sex relationships always problematic, or can they actually work for some people? In this episode, we break down the key differences between "friends with benefits" (clear boundaries) and situationships (confusing lack of clarity). Learn why catching feelings during casual sex is completely normal and healthy, when these arrangements can …
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We're going to get really nitty-gritty here today and give you the full details on why, when and how to tell your partner what turns you off. I'll also give you the important exceptions -- that is, when NOT to frame something as a turn-off. Plus you'll get a step-by-step guide on how to have these conversations -- and my Golden Rule for how to make…
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What if getting better at relationships and intimacy could actually feel amazing? In this episode, we look at the evidence to challenge the assumption that learning relationship skills has to involve painful, difficult conversations or years of heavy therapy. Drawing on science about how our brains learn best, we talk about why pleasure and play ar…
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Today's episode is all about non-verbal communication, it's role with authenticity and trust, and why it matters so much in romantic and sexual relationships (and all relationships, for that matter). Here's the link for the Hawaii retreat! Don't miss your chance to join us! https://www.kamahagar.com/retreat-page/ Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start…
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Even though nearly everyone will go through periods of low sexual desire in their lifetime, most people have no idea how common it is or that it's solve-able. Sadly, a lot of people feel like there is something wrong with them, or like they are broken. This episode will normalize what you're going through, plus give you 10 important questions to he…
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Are you secretly scared of your own desires? I see this all the time in my practice – we avoid knowing what we truly want because we're terrified of disappointment. But here's the thing: your desires are there whether you acknowledge them or not, and avoiding them is just quitting in advance (there's no benefit). In this episode, I'm walking you th…
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Have you ever been with someone you love, but their touch just felt... wrong? Or maybe your partner has told you that YOUR touch feels off, and you have no idea what you're doing wrong? I'm diving deep into this incredibly common issue that so many couples face but rarely talk about. First, I want you to know: you're not broken, and neither is your…
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It can be hard for couples to find good times to connect sexually. Busy lives or different sleep schedules are just some contributing factors that make finding time for sex especially challenging. Add to that an expectation that sex is "supposed to be spontaneous" and we have a recipe for frustration. Join me for an exploration of where the whole "…
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If you're asking yourself whether you and your partner are just too sexually incompatible for your relationship to work, this episode is for you. (Tip: It's also for people you know who seem to be asking themselves this all the time. Please share it and you could save someone a lot of angst). Join me as we dive into the hidden issues underneath thi…
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Don't miss this important (and fun) conversation with Danielle Harel, PhD, co-founder of the Somatica Institute. We talk all about discovering your deep turn-ons, how to know and ask for what you like, and why everyone's arousal pathway is different. We also flirt and laugh a lot while we demonstrate a mini-conversation to have with your partner. G…
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Join me today as I walk through what's really underneath the tendency and temptation to fake orgasms, and how to stop. You'll learn the hidden costs of this habit to you and your relationship. You'll learn what it is actually all about and how to start creating the safety you need in order to have authentic pleasure, connection and communication. G…
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Premature ejaculation or "PE" is one of the most widespread challenges for men and couples that include men. There's no special pill being sold on TV. And while it's not quite that easy to find good help -- we got you! There ARE solutions that work way better than trying to think about baseball or frantically masturbating before a date. Join me for…
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It may be surprising, but how we treat ourselves is irrevocably linked to how happy we are in our connections with others. Tune in to this heartfelt episode for shortcuts on how to have a better relationship with yourself, first and foremost. You'll be amazed at how that will transform your relationships with everyone else (and your sex life!) Get …
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Applying the idea of "polarity" without full knowledge can actually undermine you and harm your sexual connection. So it's best to be informed. Some people act like the idea of "polarity" applied to relationships is some sort of universal truth, but the reality is that it's just a made-up concept that is really only helpful in. I’m going to break d…
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This episode will walk you through how to have boundaries that feel great. Good boundaries feel like a big hug for you, rather than a barbed-wire fence to control others. We'll also cover why kind boundaries are critical to creating secure attachment. Don't miss this one! Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without Blame…
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Today we're talking about common challenges & solutions for giving and receiving oral sex. Plus, since this is episode 69, I'm celebrating with some cautionary tales around 69, and I'll cover why so many people just don't like it (plus what to do instead). Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without Blame or Shame), A Pr…
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If you're feeling like change is impossible, you may be falling into a sneaky self-undermining habit. Instead of imagining your worst beliefs are true, take a listen to this empowering episode. Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://…
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Ever wish you had more make out sessions with your partner(s)? Ever wish you felt 100% allowed to just flirt or kiss and then . . . stop? Do you ever wish you could get physical affection without feeling like you're on the hook for getting your partner to orgasm? If so, this episode is for you! It's also for anyone who notices their partner avoidin…
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Both monogamy and non-monogamy are valid choices, but a lot of people default into the modern-day societal norm without even fully discussing it or considering the options that best align with us. This episode provides an introduction to the different choices for relationship structures available. Whatever you choose, I encourage you to make it an …
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This episode gives you the bird's-eye view of what we all need to know and understand in order to have our best sex life and best relationships. You might want a pencil and paper for this one! Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://l…
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I'm breaking down the special challenges that over-achievers tend to have with intimacy, sex, and relationships today. I'm also going to tell you exactly how to overcome those challenges. If you're a person who's afraid of failing in relationships and intimacy, or frustrated that other humans and our own bodies don't come with better manuals -- I'v…
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A lot of people want great relationships and sex lives. Not a lot of people are doing anything useful to get there. Today's episode will walk you through a super common trap most people are stuck in -- and show you how to get out of it. I will explain exactly what you need to start practicing to get what you want. Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Star…
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People have different ways of getting to connection. Some people find emotional connection necessary before they feel safe to connect physically. Some people want physical intimacy in order to access emotional connection. If you are different than your partner in this, it can cause a lot of strife. This episode unpacks this common issue and helps y…
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Saying yes to things you don't want to do is not helping your relationships. It's not being "nice" either. Today's episode will help free you from guilt that keeps you from showing up authentically and saying no when you want to. Learn how and why your "no" can be a gift to others, and why it can really liberate your relationship from hidden...or n…
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This episode dives into all things Kissing. We'll cover basic Do's and Don'ts, and unpack common concerns about this very common activity. Many couples communicate pretty poorly if at all about their desires and preferences around kissing, which makes it very hard to get what you want. I'll help you get free of that and understand how to improve yo…
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Sometimes at the end of the journey it can be hard to even remember what it was like to be in the middle. Listen in to my interview with a wonderful couple of humans, Christina and Brooke, who are currently working with me. They openly share how they started out disconnected with lots of resentment. They discuss what they've learned so far and how …
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There are 3 things I really want you to know about people-pleasing and intimacy. When you're a people-pleaser, you'll often feel like you're doing things to make others happy or doing things out of obligation. You'll also often feel like you're not getting the appreciation you want, like you don't have space and time for yourself, and/or like you a…
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Lots of folks fantasize about threesomes or group sex, and some of us decide to try it for real. Both can be fun. This episode will guide you through how to have more fun with fantasy and how to make real-life group sex a good experience for everyone. Plus, I'll give you my best tips on how to find other partners and deal with the logistics of sett…
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A lot of people want more confidence but are afraid of fake confidence and arrogance. You’re right to be wary of that. It’s not helpful to be falsely confident or arrogant in intimate relationships and sexuality. Today we're going to talk about why, how to avoid fake confidence or arrogance, and how to build real confidence and empowerment instead.…
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If Libidio Mismatch is something you struggle with – you know it can be super hard on relationships. It is very stressful and disconnecting. If it feels like a big deal, it is. Research shows that most of our happiness is tied to how we feel about our relationships – so stress in a primary partnership is devastating to quality of life. It's smart t…
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Today we're making it easier for you to ask for what you want in your intimate relationships by busting common myths that hold us back. Make your life easier by listening in. Special Event Links: Libido Mismatch Clarity Hour: walk away feeling better about your capacity to reconcile a libido mismatch in your relationship Free 1-hour FAQ and Ask the…
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This episode takes you inside a transformative conversation about sexual confidence and body trust. My former client Kama shares her raw experience of moving from sexual shame and orgasm challenges to deep embodied wisdom. This conversation goes beyond typical success stories, diving deep into how sexual healing catalyzes growth in all areas of lif…
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These are the steps to confidence and comfort that work. Tune in to learn the 4 key steps that will take you from anxious and underconfident to a true, deep, felt sense of comfort and capability in sex and intimacy. Frankly, they are not all easy, though some are surprisingly fun. These steps are what my practice is based on and why it's been so ef…
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This episode will explain the best, biggest thing you can do to improve your relationship with your own sexuality this year AND your intimacy with a partner. This is the one thing most people are NOT doing – and it is FREE. That’s right, people will spend loads of money this year trying to spice things up by buying stuff: lingerie, sex toys, vacati…
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Today I’m going to tell you a really personal story of how I almost quit on my marriage. I’m also going to share one of the most powerful ideas in the world for changing your life and your relationships. That sounds like a giant claim, and it is, but it is also really simple. If you look at the most joyful people who are living the lives they want …
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So many people feel disconnected from their authentic sexuality due to a history of religious repression and shaming. In an ideal world, religion would be universally supportive and comforting. Unfortunately, so many people have had the opposite experience, and wound up with decades of harmful ideas about themselves and their sexuality that they st…
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Conflict is inevitable in close relationships. Doing it well is key to feeling confident, connected, seen, and safe. Many people avoid conflict, or let their default strategies overwhelm them in unhelpful ways. This episode will help you learn to stop avoding necessary conflict and instead use it to get closer and solve problems together. Conflict …
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Pelvic and sexual pain is absolutely treatable, even though it can be hard to admit and challenging to find the right help. Join me to hear from pelvic health expert Dr. Susie Gronski. This episode will help you release shame or stigma about pelvic pain, which is very common. Dr. Gronski also explains common struggles with sexual and pelvic pain fo…
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It's common for people to feel upset and disappointed about having to ask for what you want. This is especially true if you believe you shouldn’t have to ask, and that your partner should "just know" what to do for you (whether that's in bed, in flirting, foreplay communication, or romantic gestures). After all, we see that played out in movies and…
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Ready to be one of the brave, joyful souls who wrings the most pleasure out of this life? I'm going to help you get there. It's December and that means it's the perfect time for some guided reflection: where are you at with your experience of pleasure and connection in your life? Where do you want to be? This episode will walk you through a self-as…
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